Sad Distances…

Was I always a loner or has life made me this way?

Feeling suffocated and I want to be surrounded by only day…

I always wanted friends and family to be around me,

Then why today when I call, there’s no one to hear me?

What did I do wrong where did things go amiss,

Feeling so damn tired of this constant search for bliss..

I was open to love and open to people,

But all those experiences have left me just crippled..

I have made mistakes too and am sure I’m not all right,

But many were those which were made by others in sight..

Turmoil was that others didn’t accept theirs as I did mine,

So as an end result, only I in bad light shine..

Being righteous gave me such a tough time,

To know that I was right, but still accepted I did the crime.. 

Shed those tears within, though for peace with others I smiled,

But gradually it was killing me, every now and then I sighed..

It hurts to realise that those people who were close,

Chose to part ways, when for myself I decided to pose..

Why do they always wanted me to only entertain?

Did they never think that I also needed their company in rain?

It broke my heart, though outwardly I might’ve seemed harsh,

I needed them to chase me, to tell me without me they are sparse..

It leaves me shattered to feel, that what I perceived was wrong,

Only till I served their purpose, did they kept me along..

Never wanted the distances, never did any harm,

Was true and expected truth, only in lies I couldn’t keep calm..

Is it needed to be fake, to survive in this world of today?

In that case I’ll fail, and I have nothing further to say…