Was I always a loner or has life made me this way?
Feeling suffocated and I want to be surrounded by only day…
I always wanted friends and family to be around me,
Then why today when I call, there’s no one to hear me?
What did I do wrong where did things go amiss,
Feeling so damn tired of this constant search for bliss..
I was open to love and open to people,
But all those experiences have left me just crippled..
I have made mistakes too and am sure I’m not all right,
But many were those which were made by others in sight..
Turmoil was that others didn’t accept theirs as I did mine,
So as an end result, only I in bad light shine..
Being righteous gave me such a tough time,
To know that I was right, but still accepted I did the crime..
Shed those tears within, though for peace with others I smiled,
But gradually it was killing me, every now and then I sighed..
It hurts to realise that those people who were close,
Chose to part ways, when for myself I decided to pose..
Why do they always wanted me to only entertain?
Did they never think that I also needed their company in rain?
It broke my heart, though outwardly I might’ve seemed harsh,
I needed them to chase me, to tell me without me they are sparse..
It leaves me shattered to feel, that what I perceived was wrong,
Only till I served their purpose, did they kept me along..
Never wanted the distances, never did any harm,
Was true and expected truth, only in lies I couldn’t keep calm..
Is it needed to be fake, to survive in this world of today?
In that case I’ll fail, and I have nothing further to say…