Standing in the shadows…!

I stood there totally unnoticed

While my world slipped away

What strength I showed to be there

How much I had to pray…! 

I wanted you to look my way

And realise my love

To hear you call my name just once

Was my wish all above…!

I hoped for things to change their course

What was happening wasn’t right

It was, as if, I was in the midst of a storm

All I could do, was to hold on tight

My heart raced and seemed to explode

Why wasn’t anyone able to hear

The horrendous sound which it was making

My gosh, it was too much to bear…!

Merry words, songs, and dance

Drinks, cheer and smiles

You looked – so, very happy

I shivered there in the aisles…!

How I managed to curve my lips

With my eyes still full of tears

I didn’t want to show me weak

“I’ll cry” – was my biggest fear…! 

None there saw my face

No one could make out my exhaustion

Once I was done with plesantries

I retired in my isolation…! 

As I looked back I had silently hoped

Atleast then you will ask me to stay

But no, it was not to be

For you hardly looked my way…! 

What made me think it was for me

What gave me such false hope

Who was to blame for my broken heart

Why wasn’t I taught how to cope…! 

I didn’t know what happened then

For days I hardly tended to self

Though years have passed since 

I doubt I have still mended myself…! 

What haunts me even now is

Why did you come my way

If you never to be mine

Why my heart had to betray…! 

Standing in the shadows then

And watching all the mirth

Robbed me of my smile

Made me doubt my self-worth…! 

Standing in the shadows then

And watching me being overlooked

On my tender soul

A very heavy toll it took…!

Standing in the shadows then

And watching you chose otherwise

Broke my heart into zillions

My silly dreams I had despised…! 

Standing in the shadows then

And watching those who were mine

Leaving me with daggers 

Yet expecting me to be fine…!

Want to leave those shadows behind

Want to disassociate from the pain

For they shouldn’t define me

Why do I need to refrain…!

I am open to my smiles again

No more of this game for me

I am no longer an option

Standing in the shadows – no, not anymore for me…!