Sonal's Poems

In this space, I write not to explain life, but to explore it. Pause with me, linger between the lines, and perhaps you’ll discover a piece of your own story here too. 🙂

Category: Feelings…

  • Probably, silence…!

    Last night when I dreamt of you

    As usual I wanted to tell you all

    In my heightened exuberance

    Of our silence I had no recall

    It hit me like a wave – 

    Ceased me, & totally knocked me out

    Was I never meaningful to you!

    Slithering in came all the recurring doubts

    How things changed, how we drifted 

    You said we were the best of pals

    I thought it was my safe heaven

    Then what happened has no rationale

    My heart is shattered you know

    Ego too stands in the way

    Want to run back to what we had

    But how to make my heart feel okay! 

    Wish it was easy to fight and ask 

    To say my words and hear you too

    Even when we didn’t agree – 

    How could you distance me from you! 

    Questions will remain and I will retreat

    For I don’t think I can make me say

    It’s better to dwell and continue to pose

    Than to exhibit me all sad and frail!

  • My own sweet world…!

    The fearlessness that I always want
    The craziness that I dare
    The bravest things that I want to say
    The deeds – that’ll leave my soul bare
    The naughtiness I don’t think I have
    The childishness I don’t show
    The hearty laughs beneath those sighs
    The giggles that don’t come out anymore
    The running wild, the freest dance
    The skipping, jumping galore
    The harmless fun, the mindless acts
    Those chances to settle old scores

    All these I live in my world of dreams
    Where I am not constantly judged
    There I can be what I want to be
    Without anyone telling me as much
    It mind sound all an escapist route
    But, it is a route after all
    Somewhere, where I am myself
    Without any stern protocols
    No limits to my thoughts there are
    No limits to how I behave
    No limits to what I can achieve
    And to get everything that I crave!
    It is my own sweet world
    Which I look forward to as a treat
    When after my exhausting day
    I lie myself to retreat…!

  • Extranged Friends…!

    I wonder when I think of you

    What made you do what you did

    I self-doubt and always brood

    Was I wrong or were we always a misfit

    Sometimes I think I took you too seriously

    When all you wanted was frivolous laugh

    Didn’t want you just for fun sadly

    I had in mind a serious draft

    Whether I was wrong or you had a part too

    I do miss our time my friend

    A soul connection is what I felt with you

    And wish you realise it too at some bend…!

  • Always, YOU…!

    This year, that year, every year
    With You always, absolutely near
    Holding Your hand as I walk on
    Chanting Your name, humming Your song

    No one can understand what You do for me
    Your loving grace, hope everyone can see
    Make me worthy of being Your tool
    To spread Your grace, Your loving rules

    Teach me Sai to live by You
    To see Your self in every view
    In each of my life’s rendezvous
    May I choose You, just always YOU!

    🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • The same hurt…!

    I don’t know how I forget

    How always you behaved so curt

    Why on earth do I let myself

    Go back to the same hurt!

    I wonder what made me forget

    Those things that I’d heard

    Then how on earth do I let myself

    Go back to the same hurt!

    I must be crazy to forget

    Your selfish deeds and words

    Really silly of me I know

    To go back to the same hurt!

    Why did I think you’ve changed

    Why did I expect a U-turn 

    Must be truly crazy of me

    To get back to the same hurt!

    How long till I learn my lesson

    How long till I give up

    Why don’t I learn to discount you

    And stop going back to the same hurt!

    Gradually you’re also improving

    As each time you outdo your worse

    Still, like a mad person that I am

    I land myself in the same hurt! 

    High time I give up on you

    High time I understand my worth

    High time I do whatever is needed

    And stop going back to the same hurt! 

    Sometimes out of courtesy

    Other times due to my soft heart

    Even, because I don’t know

    This horrible, hurtful art

    I’ve given enough second chances

    Enough excuses to your erratic self

    No more, I’ll keep reminding myself

    Just STOP – going back to the same hurt!

  • Disloyal Friendship…!

    I am always happy for you, then how come you’re not for me?
    I am always genuine with you, then how come you’re so fake to see?
    I always offer you full support, but where are you in my need?
    I give you my loyalty, then why do you not give it back to me?

    I’ve always been a true friend, your lies but have cheated me!
    I’ve always had your back, your actions but have blemished me!
    I’ve wished you well from the heart, but you’re caught demeaning me!
    I’ve been your true friend, your friendship but has hypocrisy!

    I get hurt and feel so sad
    Yet nothing which I can do frankly
    Can wish that you never receive
    Friendship filled with disloyalty!

  • No matter how far…!

    No matter how it seems with dark clouds above
    Through the dull skies you’ll see a ray of love
    Wherever you may be no matter how distant
    My love will reach to you like a rainbow vibrant

    Through the dark clouds, the silver lining that you see
    Through the frosty mornings, the little sun that you see
    Through the night sky, the bright star that guides you
    Through the pitch dark, the tiny light that guides you
    Through the scorching heat, the shady tree that you find
    Through the dry lands, the fresh stream that you find
    Through the tired tears, the tiny strength that you feel
    Through the ifs and buts, a giant leap of faith that you feel

    Is all my love for you whether me – you see or not see?
    Are all my smiles being sent, to wish you good health and glee
    No matter how far, no matter how away
    My love and wishes always, always will find your way…

  • Fight the pain…!

    Your pain can make you tough or it can make you tremble

    Your tears can get you going or hold you in deep shambles

    Your agony can fire you or make you weep like a baby

    Your past can keep you chained with in your thought a “maybe”

    Don’t let your fears rule you

    Find a way to fight those blues

    Nowhere but forward, you tread

    Don’t give up, be a fighter instead!

  • You & me…!

    Don’t go so far, I need you near
    To lose you, is my biggest fear
    Hold me close let me hear your beat
    In my heart you hold the highest seat 
    Keep me steady, you’re my rock 
    Guide me far from all roads block
    Let me rest in your loving shade
    Only for you has my heart been made 
    Give me the warmth of your safe embrace
    Don’t want to lose sight of your loving face 
    Stay with me till the end, and forever 
    Nothing happy for me if we are not together!
     

  • I forgive…!

    I forgive the one who broke my trust
    Constantly told blatant lies
    Had no love but only lust –
    for money, power, and everything wrong

    I forgive the one who misled me
    With fake smiles and polished words
    Shaded the reality from me to see
    Hid the truth and his self uncouth

    I forgive the one whom I called a friend
    But behind my back who badmouthed
    What good it did – I do not know
    It broke my heart when I got to know it though

    I forgive the one who never wished me well
    Even when I prayed for them
    All those who never were loyal to me
    Even when I always stood by them

    I forgive the one who plotted and planned
    Tried all ways to twist my arm
    Did all in their power to send my way
    Physical, mental and emotional harm

    I also, forgive myself truly
    To let such people come to me
    To not end – when I finally
    Got to see their reality

    Yes, I was naive, didn’t know how to
    Safeguard myself and not punish me
    The gallons cried over such moments
    Could’ve been true times of glee

    However now I understand
    So, I forgive them from my heart
    They did what they knew or learnt
    Someday they will also face the brunt

    No revenge, not even bad feelings
    Just want my peace and nothing else
    So I forgive and leave it to God
    I know that someday time will tell…!

  • Reminiscing…!

    The place is the same,

    Yet years are different

    Characters are same,

    Yet roles are different

    Lessons are same,

    Yet timing is different

    The theme is the same,

    Yet story is different

    Emotions are the same

    Yet love is different

    Starting was the same 

    But I hope – the ending is different…!

  • You keep coming back to me…!

    No matter how many years have passed

    Or how many more will come

    Silently without any reason to be

    Your thought comes back to me…

    No matter how many faces since

    Or how many more I’ll see

    Thoughtlessly without any plea

    Your face comes back to me…

    No matter how many conversations since

    Wonder how many more I’ll hear

    Creepily in my nothingness

    Your words come back to me…

    No matter how many more songs

    Don’t know how many more melodies

    Catching me of guard sometimes

    Your voice comes back to me…

    No matter how many approvals I’ve seen

    Maybe there’ll be more applause 

    But in all those moments of glee

    Your smile comes back to me… 

    No matter how many tears I’ve shed

    Many more heartbreaks I might see

    In each of those sighs and cries

    Your love comes back to me… 

    No matter how many lines I’ve said

    Many more might flow as sea

    Rhythmically, magically

    Your rhyme I’ll sing till eternity…

  • No answer to my whys…!

    I saw you there – when you were rushing by

    You looked at me and let out a sigh

    At first you tried to walk away

    But then you turned and came my way

    You looked hurt and I know I did wrong

    You were angry that I wasn’t strong

    Still, you lovingly stroked my hair

    I nearly choked for that gasp of air

    Tears brimming my eyes I asked how you were

    No words, your finger on my cheek lingered

    Then you asked – “Wasn’t I your choice?”

    “Why weren’t you strong”, you asked in a muffled voice…

    My tears by now had smeared my face 

    I said I was sorry for my fearful ways 

    You shook your head in exasperation 

    While still holding my face in desperation 

    Suddenly then your poise you regained

    When you backed off, I almost exploded in pain

    “Please don’t go”, I cried out with scare

    Not in my senses, of my surroundings I wasn’t aware

    The disappointment in your eyes, the defeated look

    “You could’ve been mine”, were your words as a step away you took

    As if frozen, I saw your retreat

    I was to blame for this shattering defeat

    You tried to hide those tears of pain

    “Take care” you said in a very weak strain 

    I saw you leave, turning every now and then

    Don’t know how long, not sure till when

    I stood there with tears flowing by

    With no reason, no answer to my whys…

  • HOPE

    Waiting for the sunrise

    For the light to shine bright

    Waiting for that dawn

    Which’ll be an end to this night

    Longing for a crack

    To let the brightness creep in

    Longing for that energy

    Which’ll help me win

    Dreaming of that peace

    That marvellous destination

    Dreaming of that freedom

    Which will lead to a transformation

    Praying for that blessing

    That wondrous moment of joy

    Praying for that euphoria

    Which’ll eventually let me enjoy

    Wishing for the strength – the power to believe

    That the journey, though turbulent – is not the end still

    Wishing to stay strong – to keep the smile intact

    As each step I take, on this climb uphill…!

  • All YOU…!

    Love YOU Baba! ♥️🙏🏻
     
     
     
     I talk to YOU night and day
     YOUR comforting look paves my way
     I get courage when I look at YOU
     YOUR mesmerising smile comes to my rescue
      
     Sometimes when I look at YOU
     I smile, share & shed tears too
     I let my heart out so clearly bare
     Not a sentiment which I don’t share
     Sometimes not a word is said
     Yet YOU show me the way I need to tread
      
     I think how much I’ll love to be
     In YOUR embrace - and for me to see
     YOUR charming face and enigmatic self
     Will be a treat to behold in itself! 
      
     Keep guiding me, for I know none
     Keep smiling at me, for there is no one
     Keep loving me, like YOU always do
     Keep holding me, like a mother true
      
     I am, for YOU are looking at me
     I walk, for YOU are holding me
     I talk, for YOU are blessing me
     I see, what YOU are showing me
      
     Everyday this love grows
     My craziness sees a new fold
     No one, nothing and nowhere but YOU
     My power, my father, my friend - all YOU!

  • Moments of Peace

    The joy in my steps
and the lift in my spirits  
The smile that doesn’t fade, 
My song has new lyrics
The cold air too warms me
and seems to offer a cuddle
Is it in the air for all?
Or a special treat for me to see!
Looking beyond the darkness
I rise to see the rainbow
Following the lights shining
I feel a special tenderness
As I walk towards the lights 
Never bothering the shadows 
The fear fading off
I steadily approach the bright
As I stand where I reached
It seems the safest place to be
With my heart ready for this 
My moments of peace I seize!

  • When you come passing by…!

    2

     

    A vivid dream of you,

    whenever comes to me…

    Makes me forget what is,

    and leads me to the debris…

    The visions that I see,

    I’ve never lived with you…

    From where do they flow in,

    and leave me to pursue…

    I try to bring myself back,

    to the reality that is now…

    But the residue of what I saw,

    doesn’t readily allow…

    Feeling like a no one,

    among those I know…

    I carry on to sway,

    and try not to show…

    What’s going on in my heart,

    and what makes me a bit reclined…

    I try not to overthink,

    the reason that was behind…

    Accepting it as a memory,

    of somewhere that we were…

    I allow them to reverberate,

    until when they go blur…! 

  • You’re not mine…

    1

    I was a fool to think that I belong

    To consider this as our song

    But not one, I got many signs

    That – you’re not mine

    Hearts afar, across the shore

    I don’t want to try any more

    Our stars were never aligned 

    The fact is that you’re not mine

    Now or ever I don’t plan to stay

    Only plan to keep away

    Any offer from you, I plan to decline

    Because – you’re not mine

    Been and seen what was there to see

    Now, just want to be free

    From the clutches and fate’s design

    I resign, ‘coz you’re not mine

    Give and take – have done it all

    Heard clearly this deafening call

    The final rejection is utterly divine

    Yes, you never were mine! 

  • Goodness – a tough test!

    294432-Be-Happy-Do-The-Best-You-Can-Be-Good-And-Kind

    I might’ve made mistakes

    Put hefty stuff at stake

    But not emotions or feelings

    No one’s heart at bleeding 

    I might’ve gone astray

    Could’ve led to dismay

    But never intentionally 

    Not on false alibi

    I might’ve been wrong

    Vices with me belong 

    But never betrayed a friend

    Only love I’ve sent

    I might’ve hurt someone

    Could’ve taken a wrong turn 

    But never with venom at heart

    No, I don’t know that art

    Tried to do my best

    And will – till I finally rest

    But goodness is a tough test

    These days, ‘tis a matter of jest

    Even when ridiculed

    Due to it I’ve been fooled

    Will want to spread a word

    In favour of it to the world

    Do good and be good forever

    Only goodness pays at last

    Cause harm, knowingly never

    Even to those who have harassed

  • With love for YOU BABA – my Guru, my Friend, my Guide, my Everything…! ❤️

    Offering myself – at YOUR holy feet
    Watching YOUR smile – an absolute treat
    Following YOUR word – my way of life
    Holding YOUR hand – I cross each strife
    Merging into YOU – my ultimate desire
    Obtaining YOUR grace – my heart’s fire
    Chanting YOUR name – is my heartbeat 
    Thinking of YOU – makes me complete
    By YOUR grace – I wish to cross this maze
    YOUR embrace – my safest place!