Category: Me and my broken heart…

Feeling so helpless and low

Controlling, but tears constantly show

Breathing is tough and heart is paining

Looking for sunshine amidst this raining

Nowhere to look for the heartwarming solace

How to calm down, how to slow down the pace

Mind is boggled, and heart is pounding

With various thoughts my vision is shrouding

Each step seems like a walk in the dark

In an ocean alone amidst the sharks

There is no way out, only destitution

Faith and patience seem the only solution

Looking around frantically for hope

Trying to hold tight to the slipping rope

Panting my way up this steep climb

Holding on in this testing time

Getting past the challenges as they come

Searching for that silver lining post this glum

Trying to be strong and trying to smile

Walking along on this endless tough mile

Waiting for this test to end

Awaiting the rainbow along the bend

For flowers to bloom, an end to this gloom

Before all my energy gets consumed

For showers of blessings to come my way

And wash all the pain away

For smiles to linger and not get faded

For harmony to remain and not get invaded

Catching up on my breath and holding tight

Have no more strength for another fight!

 

 

My lonely heart, my saddened soul, still long for you my dear

That you will hold me very close, and will always be there near

My eyes still long for your loving face, my ears still long to hear

Your soothing voice expressing true love which can free me from all the fear

Deep within this insatiable thirst, to know that you still love

Why is it that even after trying hard, your thoughts away I can’t shove

Why do you still linger in mind, why do you not leave me

When you can’t be close enough, then why don’t you free me

I still look around when I am out there, have a feeling that you are somewhere close

Just an inkling of you being around, and my silly heart nearly froze!

When I know that you won’t be there, then why do I still search for you

What is it that I still want to hear, frankly I myself have no clue

Whatever I do, wherever I go, I want to share with you all

I yearn for your soothing caress, when misery any befalls

Deep within engraved in heart is your love which will never die

Why did you come, why did you leave, that will always remain a big why!

As tears fall and I miss you, there is nothing more that I ask

Than to know the true feelings, hidden under your mask

But maybe they are better hidden for if they get revealed

Don’t know how will I ever control myself under this weak shield!

 

Why did you come, why did you speak?

Why do you always make me feel so weak?

Why did you meet me why did you leave?

Why do you live in me yet I feel bereaved?

The way you make me feel no one does

Then is it right that I hide from you all my fuss

I don’t tell you that my smile is fake

All my bliss of this so called life is fake

The moment I was made to part from you

I died within and wonder how no one knew 

The tears I cried, the sighs I took

How when I walked, from within I shook

Why did I hide, why didn’t I say

What you meant to me in every way

Why did I please those who said

My heart will recover from its shreds

All these years when you were not here

Not a day passed when your voice I didn’t hear

Not a moment passed without your thought

Everyday from my heart, my mind fought

The distances grew and I wondered if we’ll ever meet

I was sure in this life we’ll never greet 

But the hope within always remained 

Somehow somewhere…. I always prayed

And then suddenly there you were

My heart was bouncing with the joy so clear

We laughed and spoke at great length

But still I hid from you the way I felt

Because what you made me feel scared me too

I longed for you after so many years too!

Do what I have now hold no meaning at all

Am I ready to give it up all?

Just this thought made me freak out

That I have to myself now cut you out 

I was blunt and I was rude

Eventhough within, my heart was in feud

This time when I said goodbye

I knew I’ll not ask me why

It is my call and it is my word

To live what is now my world

Eventhough I cry but still I know

Somewhere someone will wait to show

Why you came and what you mean to me

Why my soul rejoices when you near be

 

Life brings surprises, such that you’re thrown off-shore,

Nothing about it you can do, just heal your heart which is sore;

Deep melancholy takes over, you don’t know how to escape,

There’s a cloud of grief over you, which is overbearing in shape;

The saddest part of you is that, you had no vice in mind,

You had always done only good for those, who gave grief of such kind;

With firm determination, you think of cutting all ties,

But still thinking of the other person, your heart in abundance cries;

You’re of no eminence, gets proven once again,

You feel cheated, beaten and left bereft in harsh rain;

Was the past only a myth, is what crosses your thought,

Why did they ever cheat you, when only the truth was which you ever sought;

Now you’ve left things as they are, and decided to part ways,

How much ever you love others, your self-esteem can’t be given away;

Praying for courage, you start your journey apart,

With wish for well-being for those, who were once your own part!

I have given up on love, I have run after it all my life,

I was not made for love, so why this painful strife!

Love has always deceived me, it never stayed by my side,

No one truly loved me, Oh! how much ever I tried!

 

I waited eagerly & patiently, for someone to come

To sweep me off my feet, and give me kisses some.

To fill my heart with a love song, which would never die,

To stay with me forever, until my last I lie!

 

But sad that people came and went, no one who hugged me tight,

Who looked into my eyes & said, “Baby, I will set things right”!

I kept waiting for someone special, to come and give melody,

To my pure soul & true heart, but alas – nobody!

Now I am exhausted & saddened, by this painful fact,

That I don’t deserve love, yes, this was in my destiny packed.

I have “finally” given up on love, tired of running after it all my life,

Will live with what I have, as there is no desire left to strive! 

Life is lonely, I am low

Where are you, why did you go?

I dreamt of your love, I wished for your care

But you only told lies, which was tough to bear.

Now when I look back, I understand,

You never really wanted to hold my hand,

You used & threw my love away,

I was naive to think that you will stay.

You broke my heart again and again,

But my love for you kept my ego in chain,

I want to turn the clock back,

And erase your presence from my life’s rack,

Your memories hurt me and make me cry,

Your name gives pain and I wanna try

To forget you forever and move on in life,

To believe that I deserve true love in life!

My heart aches for the love which is deep engraved within,

It is not just the tears you see but much more which my soul sheds

This pain is engulfing me and I don’t know how to express

Is it insecurity or jealousy or just love for you which makes me fret!

There seems no solution to my misery this sadly I’ve realised

As I can’t happen to trust your love now with all the time that you’ve broken mine

Do I love you enough, or am I just being selfish?

Am I being made a fool, or am I just being childish!

I want to let you free and want you to come back on your own

But on letting you free, feel a stab of pain which craves to be shown

My heart cries for the good times, will there be none for us?

As since we are together, there has been only fuss

Tedious times galore have broken me into pieces

I don’t feel like gathering up and straightening the creases

Want to run away now and hide somewhere where you won’t find me

Don’t want to give you another chance to break more within me

But shackles of life hold me where I am

Like I am being punished and it has still not come to an end

The shadows of past haunt my heart

Like the inevitable will happen soon

It might be just fear, but isn’t the source of this fear

from you a boon?

When togetherness is marred and cursed in such a way

Then better to say good bye and run away

I want to go now so please set me free

For your happiness is to be found without me

I will remember you and I don’t think I’ll ever be happy

But its better one, than more in this situation crappy!

I know you won’t miss me, for you will find love and happiness

From up in the sky, a star will still offer you loving caress!

It pains to feel unimportant

It hurts to have no value

To be a substitute only

To be there only to support you

I wanted to be the need

I wanted to be your desire

I wished to be longed for

With love as strong as a fire

Heart feels choked

and breathing seems heavy

Living seems a burden

With this tax of pain on it levied

Responsibilities around

Don’t let me retreat

So much to do surround me

 and I marvel at my feat

To live with this endless agony in heart

To survive this rejection once more

To cry even when eyes seem to be dry

To hide emotions coming to fore

I just want to start anew

I don’t want to trouble you any longer

I want to set you free from me

Make you choose your love a bit stronger

May God keep you away from crappy

It is my heart’s only wish currently

I want to see you extremely happy

And live the life you deserve lovingly

I got to know long back how it feels, when my heart breaks

But didn’t know that it can break again n again, in the very same way

The same emotions, the same helplessness, the same gloom, the same heart ache

Tears non stop even when, already they’ve been shed all day

There is no sound of this heart breaking, no one really bothers how I feel

Whether I do self-pity, or stand up strong in a day or years or never will

Images from the time when I felt all broken, keep playing in my mind

I want to redo them all together, stop, erase and rewind

With my face stained with tear marks, with my mind all reeling

I turn towards the only one who can soothe my soul from peeling

Even though I feel angry at HIM, for giving me this heart wrenching pain

I know deep down in my heart, there’s reason for this agonising rain

HE just looks upon with HIS heart charming smile, as if to say -“I am there”

“Don’t worry my darling, I’ll take care of you”, but the relief seems no where

I get to a point where I question my self, what is it so wrong that I have done

What is it that I am being punished for, is there no way that it can be undone?!

But this vicious circle will only go on, in sometime I might feel little better

Only to fall in similar situation again, and get my heart shattered again for ever

Wish this could all end soon, as this takes a toll too heavy

Life seems too much to handle with this unexplained tax on it levied…

 

You gave me nothing but pain
Life with you was only rain
I kept longing for sunshine
Hoped someday I’ll smile & not whine
But you gave me nothing but pain…
All my efforts went in vain
My dreams got shattered by you
and I got nothing in lieu
You gave me nothing but pain…
I was mad and not sane
To have fallen for your charm
You did me so much harm
You gave me nothing but pain
I felt I was in chain
You were ruthless and cruel
My tears gave you fuel
To give me nothing but pain…
You were truly insane
To not see my love & care
Oh! how did I ever fare
When you gave me nothing but pain…
You left me sobbing & sighing
I also thought of dying
But your love was never true
My wound I will sew

My heart still aches
And my body shakes
My eyes shed tears
My mind remembers fears
It was not love that you had
You hurt me and you were bad
Why did you ever come my way!
What do you now have to say?
I feel angry and betrayed
I don’t wish you had stayed
I just want to hurt you and make you cry
But even that I wouldn’t try
I am happy you’re gone
You have lost & I have won

I wish I was strong
To end it back & long
But someday you’ll have to pay
For what you did the other day
You hurt a soul which was pure
Though I have survived and will cure
You will surely suffer in rain
‘Coz you gave me nothing but pain!!!