In this space, I write not to explain life, but to explore it. Pause with me, linger between the lines, and perhaps you’ll discover a piece of your own story here too. 🙂
The place is the same,
Yet years are different
Characters are same,
Yet roles are different
Lessons are same,
Yet timing is different
The theme is the same,
Yet story is different
Emotions are the same
Yet love is different
Starting was the same
But I hope – the ending is different…!
No matter how many years have passed
Or how many more will come
Silently without any reason to be
Your thought comes back to me…
No matter how many faces since
Or how many more I’ll see
Thoughtlessly without any plea
Your face comes back to me…
No matter how many conversations since
Wonder how many more I’ll hear
Creepily in my nothingness
Your words come back to me…
No matter how many more songs
Don’t know how many more melodies
Catching me of guard sometimes
Your voice comes back to me…
No matter how many approvals I’ve seen
Maybe there’ll be more applause
But in all those moments of glee
Your smile comes back to me…
No matter how many tears I’ve shed
Many more heartbreaks I might see
In each of those sighs and cries
Your love comes back to me…
No matter how many lines I’ve said
Many more might flow as sea
Rhythmically, magically
Your rhyme I’ll sing till eternity…
Waiting for the sunrise
For the light to shine bright
Waiting for that dawn
Which’ll be an end to this night
Longing for a crack
To let the brightness creep in
Longing for that energy
Which’ll help me win
Dreaming of that peace
That marvellous destination
Dreaming of that freedom
Which will lead to a transformation
Praying for that blessing
That wondrous moment of joy
Praying for that euphoria
Which’ll eventually let me enjoy
Wishing for the strength – the power to believe
That the journey, though turbulent – is not the end still
Wishing to stay strong – to keep the smile intact
As each step I take, on this climb uphill…!
The joy in my steps
and the lift in my spirits
The smile that doesn’t fade,
My song has new lyrics
The cold air too warms me
and seems to offer a cuddle
Is it in the air for all?
Or a special treat for me to see!
Looking beyond the darkness
I rise to see the rainbow
Following the lights shining
I feel a special tenderness
As I walk towards the lights
Never bothering the shadows
The fear fading off
I steadily approach the bright
As I stand where I reached
It seems the safest place to be
With my heart ready for this
My moments of peace I seize!
We all must have felt it for sure
The numerous signs being sent our way
Atleast for once they must’ve lured
Did you try to know what they want to say?
Sending signs to us to hear
Only if we’ll slow down to note
The universe is out there to share
Only if we paused and wrote
Isn’t it magical to feel?
That we’re not alone in this
What’s the reason to conceal
If these signs give us some bliss
From the breeze that soothe
Or the bird that chirp
Or the magical words
That mysteriously come up!
The universe shows
in different ways
That if we ask –
Reply gets displayed
And if it replies,
It listens too
So think before –
You relay through
Let your message be
positive and bright
The world needs to have
More right, more light
So, send out your love for all out there
For one who probably waits to hear
Will get a message of your love and care
Maybe you’ll be the answer to their relentless prayer!
A vivid dream of you,
whenever comes to me…
Makes me forget what is,
and leads me to the debris…
The visions that I see,
I’ve never lived with you…
From where do they flow in,
and leave me to pursue…
I try to bring myself back,
to the reality that is now…
But the residue of what I saw,
doesn’t readily allow…
Feeling like a no one,
among those I know…
I carry on to sway,
and try not to show…
What’s going on in my heart,
and what makes me a bit reclined…
I try not to overthink,
the reason that was behind…
Accepting it as a memory,
of somewhere that we were…
I allow them to reverberate,
until when they go blur…!
Times change and people too
Those who don’t are very few
Words gets lost and promises broken
A stillness – remains unspoken
Vague vacuum lingers on
To a dullness, you feel strongly drawn
Reminiscing on the bygone days
Till when you finally parted ways
Living life like a dream at times
Missing that, with you who rhymed
Feeling strong the strain within
The anguishing pain becomes a twin
Grey clouds always shroud your sky
Uproar within of what and why
Come to fore to disturb the peace
Perplexing you on how to cease
The restless mind needs to be aware
This pointless agony will lead nowhere
I might’ve made mistakes
Put hefty stuff at stake
But not emotions or feelings
No one’s heart at bleeding
I might’ve gone astray
Could’ve led to dismay
But never intentionally
Not on false alibi
I might’ve been wrong
Vices with me belong
But never betrayed a friend
Only love I’ve sent
I might’ve hurt someone
Could’ve taken a wrong turn
But never with venom at heart
No, I don’t know that art
Tried to do my best
And will – till I finally rest
But goodness is a tough test
These days, ‘tis a matter of jest
Even when ridiculed
Due to it I’ve been fooled
Will want to spread a word
In favour of it to the world
Do good and be good forever
Only goodness pays at last
Cause harm, knowingly never
Even to those who have harassed
In my silence, you come as a thought
Memories flow in right on dot
Breezing in through my varied day
Your face in my mind makes its way
Sometimes in my hustle bustle
I get reminded of our fun-filled tussle
Even though many miles away
Your thoughts never cease to fray
Right into my very day
They come in with something to convey
Sometimes through my otherwise cheer
You walk by as a giggle dear
Sometimes without a warning trace
A tear drops by leaving me in daze
Even when I am asleep
You wake me up sometimes as I weep
Such vivid dreams which shake me bad
For hours then I stay so sad
Without a thought I call your name
Wonder why it still makes me feel same
No reason why you still come to mind
Nothing more left for me to find
Even though you’re not in sight
Thinking of you gives me delight
Confused I am, but let it be
Even when you’re not there to see
I feel you very much around
Memories come and how they hound
I am left reveling in this symphony
You and I, still a harmony…
There is no us,
Without a bis fuss
Whenever you take my hand
Life comes with tough demands
It takes a toll very heavy
Taxes many get levied
The joy to come to you
Gets clouded with a tough residue
Mysteries that keep haunting
And make our life so daunting
Where is the joy that we came for?
Is this all that we asked in store?
No meaning that I can draw
Just feeling a terrible awe
Of being together with you
For I feel so down and blue
For probably there’ll never be a us
Without a big fuss….
I don’t know how to act, I don’t know what to say
The strength I had is falling low, darkness shrouds my day
Heart is at constant war with mind, and nothing seems right
Have to do what I don’t want to do, how to set this amiss right
I ask myself a thousand times, where & what went wrong
No answer – I get to hear, only a deafening silence throngs
I look up to HIM, to ask him the same, and HE mystically smiles
Will everything be alright soon? To hear, I pause a while
HE replies…
“Have faith and just do your bit, with a clear heart & intention
As far as you don’t hurt anyone, help as much, and don’t cause tension
I’ll lead you to where you should be, grant the happiness that you seek
So carry on, just do what is right, and don’t let yourself fall weak
There won’t always be smooth sailing, there will be thorns that’ll prick
There will be days when you’ll doubt ME, your faith in ME will flick
Those will be testing times my child, when you should hold really strong
Each difficulty is an opportunity, in adversity – don’t go wrong
‘Coz these troubled waters will make you reach, where you wanna be
After the stress I promise you, you’ll revel in serenity”
HIS words fill me with renewed strength, I feel energised
I tread on with strong foothold, to do as been advised
Will work tirelessly till I achieve, what I’ve been given to do
Smiling through these tests, to turn a page anew!
Who has made these boundaries,
Who has made these walls?
Who has made these languages
Who has set these protocols?
Who has made these differences
In how we say our words?
Why these different cultures
Why aren’t we free as birds?
Why to cross the waters,
Do we need all the permissions?
Why upon free movement
There are various prohibitions?
Will someday come at last
Which will bring in emancipation?
With this amazing thought
I am in fascination
Hope a day would come
Where all of us or at least some
Will know the power of unity
And the strength of being a community
Hope someday soon we see dreams unfurled
And get to live in this – united One World!
I want to know what will it take
For this misery to finally shake
Want to focus on what I can
Than to see how much I’ve ran
Want to enjoy what’s there in hand
Not to cry where else I could’ve stand
Want to feel the love which is there –
and to get rid of this feeling of despair
Want to let go of what really hurts
Just something which can help divert
This trail of thoughts which hurts so much
Done waiting for that magic touch
Want to see what lies with me
Done with thinking what could’ve been
No point at all in sulking more
Want to close all those past doors
Happiness to be in my own hands
Acting on no one else’s commands
Want to live right here, right now
No misery now I want to allow
Respecting what was given to me
Will try to abide by Thy decree
Just bless my efforts to stay on track
Not to turn over and go right back
To where again I’ll feel so weak
Chances of recovery will be so bleak
Looking ahead I will smile at last
Saying adieu to my sad past!
All alone on this path as I tread
Can’t remember when last I was fed
No care, no love, no one who said
“Come here my child, let me put you to bed”
Fending for myself, alone on the streets
No fuss, no tantrum, no one dancing on my beats
No pampering, no gifts, no toys or treats
With open arms, no one who meets
Sobbing tears if I ever feel weak
Where do I go, which shelter to seek
Who is there to kiss my cheek
To say, “My dear, you’re truly unique!”
I sometimes feel very scared
As I live on streets exposed and bare
Is there not even one here or there?
The warmth of an abode with me who can share
Whom to complain if I ever want to
How I wish for a door to go through
To live a life, totally different and new
To have all the things which currently are few
Not easy it is to live all alone
Famished always, body like a bone
Callously ignored & on the streets thrown
Before being a child, feeling all grown
Why this bias, getting punished for what?
Why have I been sent – is it only to rot?
Did YOU send me here and just forgot?
To fend for myself I’ve all alone fought!
I have some dreams, even I want to live
I am sure for me, YOU have something to give
If I was ever wrong, now please forgive
Small favours only, nothing that I need is too big
A family to love, someone to care
Someone who’ll lovingly stroke my hair
And as I tread out, this time to learn
Someone – who’ll wait for even my return!
At daybreak, as I open my eyes
I wonder what ahead of me lies
Will the day bring in grief or everlasting joy
Will there be a moment to make me say, “Oh boy!”
Will the day be exciting, and surprise me
Or will it be mundane with nothing new to see
Will there be smiles or only misery
Or something which will poke, cherished memories
Thinking upon this, I wonder how it is
Each new day, is a kind of a quiz
A new visitor daily, knocking at our door
Up to us to welcome it, frown or do more
If we manage to smile and welcome our guest
Half the problem is solved, and day is better addressed
On the other hand, if we happen to frown and cry
And welcome our guest with a deep, worrying sigh
Things start going wrong, a vicious circle it becomes
Sooner than one should, to the challenge we succumb
Well begun is half done, is an old saying
To give oneself a kick-start, there is no harm in obeying
The words of wisdom well proven with time
No harm if successful actions we mime
So I thought I’ll welcome what life throws at me
With gratitude and strength I’ll try to agree
With all that life’s to offer today and everyday
Yes, I’ll give my best, whatever come along the way…
Before the words run out
And you won’t be able to shout
Before your throat goes dry
And your voice gives way to a cry
Don’t keep looking for a plan
Just say it when you can!
Let not that worry hold you back
Keep that hesitation on the rack
Let no bother stop you from it
Keep in mind this tiny bit
Don’t deter from your action plan
Just say it when you can!
That long held apology in your mind
Or those words of love you wanted to find
A complain which you wanted to make
Or face those people in your circle so fake
Don’t let the mishaps change your plan
Just say it when you can!
Before you realize that it’s got too late
From your loved ones you might separate
Before the chance given runs out
From your decision, keep away the doubt
Don’t sway from your decided plan
Just say it when you can!
Listen to that inner voice speaking
The true sense from within you leaking
Seek those whom you want to speak to
Whisper or shriek but just try to get through
Don’t deter from your strength to stand
Just say it when you can!
There are days when life seems a bouncer and you don’t know whether to duck or play
There are days when life seems a monster and you feel totally aghast and in dismay
There are days when life seems a burden and you don’t know how to breathe anymore
There are days when life seems an unending test, for the results you’re no longer lured
There are days when the clouds are dark and there is no speck of sunshine
There are days when you have no energy to talk to someone or even to whine
There are days when you don’t want to fight and just say that you’re wrong
There are days when you feel your dream has crashed, to make life a melodious song
There are days when even when you want to smile the tears suddenly show
There are days when you fail to get up and continue anymore
Life is one big roller coaster, ups and downs, we see it all
Magic is that in testing times, a small speck of faith somehow befalls
Which doesn’t let you give up in life and tells you anyway to carry on
The truth is that if you catch that moment and not let it be a by gone
Slowly and steadily, towards better times you’ll start to tread
Challenges will always stay, but you’ll somehow get the strength – to move ahead…!
And the one who doesn’t give up, and the one who carries on
Is the one who ultimately wins, this life’s marathon!
Strange is the world, stranger mankind
Honest & true, are so tough to find
Words & actions hardly match
For simpletons, it is a rough catch
In trying to decipher, you can lose your mind
From taking on face value, I have long resigned
No one around, whom I can lay trust on
In believing others, you’re considered a moron
No ray of light to show there is hope
This perilous mountain, to climb with no rope
All seem to have a betraying mask on
Lies are favoured, truths are frowned upon
Strange is this world, stranger mankind
To carry on here, you have to turn an eye blind –
To hypocrisy of people, which suffocates me to hell
No one to inquire honestly if you’re well
Just one I long for, whom I can trust blindly
Who will care and be around, lovingly & honestly
Who will not exploit, will not show off or use me
With whom I can laugh, be myself and just carefree
Too much to ask I guess, in this world of today
Where you have to be like them, to find your way
Not me, I am sorry, even if it means being lonely
Even if on this path, I’ll be the one and only…
Will tread on and find my peace at last
Better than being constantly harassed!
Hurdle at my every step, hindrance at every thought I brew
With challenges at every knock, I really don’t know what to do!
Conversations leading nowhere, people turning glances away
With so much negativity around, how to clearly see my way!
Roadblocks on which I stumble, when a simple step I try to take
With problems at every turn, my confidence is bound to shake!
Planning & plotting in every mind, genuinity is getting rust
With fake people around in ample, there is absolutely no mutual trust!
Aghast with what has become of us, I feel like taking a rapid retreat
But how to forsake what I ought to do, how to forsake this to-do sheet!
Holding strong, trying not to give up, even in this tide so fast
Praying for strength & keeping strong, wish this strength for me will last!
Hoping that the world will see, more of goodness and less of deceive
Hoping that people will understand, that spreading cheer gets results to reap!
Sonal's Poems 